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Arranged marriages
have been a topic of interest for centuries. Authors across the ages have
explored this theme at length, and it still surfaces in literary works
today. What's the appeal? Is it the fascination with the lack of lust and
desire we cultivate in North American society? We strive on the element of
danger, of the forbidden, while an arranged marriage is usually a safe way
to ensure a family's approval of a union.
And yet, many of
today's romance novels deal with marriages of convenience. We’ve all
read them: the heroine marries the hero because she needs him, whether for
financial reasons, or because her children need a father -- there are as
many reasons to marry as there are novels dealing with this subject. Yet
although the marriage isn’t initially based on love, there’s always
that sensual tension simmering beneath the surface, and as readers, we
know it’s inevitable that the two are going to fall deeply and
irrevocably in love.
But what about
real life, where things don’t always work out so well? Arranged
marriages are commonplace in a number of countries, such as Iran, Iraq,
Afghanistan, Japan and India. They’re more common than you’d think
even in North America, where cultural diversity is cherished and
encouraged.
Young people in
countries where arranged marriages are commonplace are told from an early
age that their spouse will be chosen for them. To deny an arranged
marriage is seen as a sign of disrespect toward the family. But how are
suitable spouses chosen? In Japan, for instance, "when a woman
reaches the marriageable age of 25, she and her parents compile a packet
of information about her, including a photograph of her in a kimono and
descriptions of her family background, education, hobbies, accomplishments
and interests. Her parents then inquire among their friends and
acquaintances to see if anyone knows a man who would be a suitable husband
for her" (the Asia Society's Video Letter from Japan: My Family,
1988). Usually, the most important aspect of choosing a suitable spouse is
the bond between the two families, rather than the relationship between
the couple being married. Property or land with the aim of securing social
status sometimes seals marriage agreements.
Do arranged
marriages work? Opinions tend to differ. Statistics place the divorce rate
for arranged marriages much lower than those in the United States, where
marriages out of love are the rule. However, research also shows that the
pressure a married couple encounters from both society as a whole, and
from the respective families, suggests that divorce is often not an
option.
Can love grow out
of an arranged marriage? Absolutely, and in the same way that love can
grow in romance novels from a marriage of convenience. But there’s more
to love than finding a suitable match. Love can grow for many reasons,
from lust at first sight to friendship that develops over a long period of
time. It’s impossible to predict whether a union will be successful. The
only two people who can make it work are the bride and groom, the hero and
heroine of their own story.
Lacey Savage
is the author of a number of sensual romance short stories, novels and
novellas. Her articles and works of fiction often focus on women's issues
and relationships. Find out more about Lacey at http://www.laceysavage.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/
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