We
hear a lot about the Supermom Syndrome but rarely about our
Superdads.
We
place higher expectations on fathers in today's society than ever
before. Unlike previous generations, dads today are expected to take
a proactive role in caring for the children physically as well as
financially.
Gone
are the days when a man arrives home from work, loosens his tie,
slips off his shoes, and reclines in the Lazyboy with his newspaper,
which he thumbs through as he waits for his dinner to be served.
Today,
many dads don't get that decompression time after a day at work.
Some of the dads pick up their children from daycare on their way
home. Others are immediately struck with the hassles of the day
while they struggle to make the instant transition from professional
to father.
As a
stay-at-home mom, I used to wonder why my husband would sit in the
car for a few moments after he pulled into the driveway. Until, that
is, one day when my husband watched our one-year- old and it was my
turn to come home exhausted from a busy and hectic day. How I wished
I had stayed in the car just long enough to take a few deep breaths.
Today's
dads, much like many of today's moms, must juggle the guilt of not
spending enough time with the family with the guilt of not giving it
their all at work.
But
women seem to have more support with their struggle. Magazine
articles, support groups, and websites warn moms of the risks of
burning out and the importance of taking care of themselves. They
dole out advice on balancing life and relationships. Fathers don't
often band together like moms do.
Even
while men are expected to independently take on a more nurturing
role, they are slammed in the media. We watch television shows that
too often portray fathers as bumbling idiots, scared stiff of
changing their own baby's diaper and incapable of anything other
than watching a ball game and slugging beer. We sit through news
reports of deadbeat dads and women who have beaten the odds despite,
not with the help of, the men in their lives.
As
natural nurturers, women have long taken on the social stereotype of
being the dominant parent. Sometimes--and I hate to admit that I'm
guilty of this, too--we may subconsciously sabotage their parenting
efforts to make ourselves feel more important.
It's
important for us to recognize that dads interact with children
differently than we do. These techniques are neither better nor
worse. Just different. Dads may tend to allow the child to reach a
higher level of frustration than a mother would, which may be an
important lesson in resilience.
The
father serves an integral role in a child's life. Spending time with
both parents helps children develop an understanding of separation,
transition, autonomy, and gender roles.
Here's
to all of the great dads out there, and all of the men who strive to
be great dads. Here's to my husband, who would make a better
stay-at-home parent than I. He is more patient and more experienced
with children. He rarely gets bored, even on the afternoon's eighth
reading of Green Eggs and Ham. In his downtime, he does a load of
laundry and whips up a heaping platter of Beef Stroganoff when all I
see in the fridge is pickles and ketchup.
I'm
going downstairs to interrupt Dr. Seuss and to tell him how much I
appreciate the work he does. Maybe it's time we all spent just a few
minutes thinking about the pressures our husbands, and to applaud
them for all the things they do.
Copyright
2001, Susie Michelle Cortright. Susie Michelle Cortright is the
founder and publisher of Momscape, a website devoted to nurturing
the nurturers through empowering articles, inspiring essays, and
daily pampering tips, as well as freebies, contests, and giveaways
just for parents. Visit her at http://www.momscape.com
and get inspired to be the best mom you can be
mailto:momscape-subscribe@yahoogroups.com
Back
to Articles
