It’s
easy to be fascinated by other people’s love affairs and desire to
have what they have, especially if the relationship is intense,
happy, and seemingly problem-free. These great love stories
epitomize an ideal that everyone would love to attain.
However, keep in mind that you are seeing only the public image of
the relationship. You don’t see the work that goes on behind
closed doors. All relationships take effort to be successful,
especially great love stories.
Would you like to make your relationship the greatest love story
ever? Of course you would; everyone would. If you would, just keep
reading along and learn how to do it. Before you know it, you will
be transforming your good relationship into a great one. Learn from
Happy Couples
The best way to learn about how to have the greatest love story ever
is to listen to how other happy couples do it. All you have to do is
ask or read about happy couples, and you will learn the tricks. For
instance, in the book The 30 Secrets of Happily Married Couples,
author Paul Coleman tells how happy couples stay happy. His findings
are based on many research studies on marital happiness. Basically,
his 30 secrets can be summarized into three main goals that all
couples should have:
-
Practice
good communication. Communication skills include considering
the part you play in the problem, trying not to be defensive,
and seeing the issue from your partner’s perspective.
-
Have
realistic expectations for a long relationship. Realize that
change involves ups and downs and appreciate the effect that
major changes, such as having children, will have on your
relationship.
-
Make
time for each other. Make regular dates, have fun together,
and take every opportunity to be affectionate.
These
three goals sound like such a simple recipe for living happily ever
after, but they require something that many people forget: daily
commitment.
Daily Commitment Is a Privilege
How many times have you heard someone say any of the following: “I
have to remember to get her a card,” “I must buy him a
present,” “I should take her out for dinner,” or “I need to
call him”? Couples commonly say these phrases. Having the greatest
love story ever is not built on things you “have to do.” Rather,
it’s based on feeling privileged to be able to do them. This
difference in perception is the difference between a happy couple
and a super-happy couple.
Building the greatest love story ever is work that is never
complete. Love is a living, breathing thing that requires daily
attention to keep it alive. Just remember, if you put in the minimum
work, it will be reflected in the degree of happiness and
satisfaction you feel in your relationship. If you put in 100
percent, you will have a relationship that gives you 100 percent
fulfillment. This is the kind of relationship others admire and
strive for. Taking part in the greatest love story ever requires a
lifetime of privileged work—and what an honor that is to take on!
Nancy Fagan, M.S., author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to
Romance” and “Desirable Men: How to Find Them.” To read more,
visit www.ExpertdatingAdvice.com.
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