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The
wedding vow is the most well-known demonstration of verbal love. A
vow is a line of
words that are a solemn promise, or assertion, someone makes that
binds him or her to
an act, service, or condition. In the case of a wedding, it’s a
declaration of love.
Because religion plays a significant role in many people’s lives,
some of the more
traditional vows were created by individual churches. Each vow has a
slightly different
way of phrasing the dedication words to make them fit each belief
system better.
The following are some of the more common religious vows:
-
Roman
Catholic: “I, Olivia, take you, Craig, to be my husband. I
promise to be true to
you in good times and bad, in sickness and in health. I will
love you and honor you all
the days of my life.”
-
Muslim:
“I pledge in honesty and with sincerity to be for you an
obedient and
faithful wife.” “I pledge, in honesty and sincerity to be
for you a faithful and
helpful husband.”
-
Jewish:
The groom says, “Behold thou art consecrated unto me by this
ring according
to the law of Moses and Israel.” The bride remains silent, as
is customary, and they
are married.
-
Carpatho
Russian Orthodox: “I, Craig, take you, Olivia, as my wedded
wife and
I promise you love, honor, and respect: to be faithful to you
and not to forsake
you until death do us part, so help me God, one in the Holy
Trinity and all the Saints.”
-
Traditional
Hindu Mantra Baha’i Faith: “I am the word, and you are the
melody.
I am the melody, and you are the word.”
-
Protestant:
“I, Olivia, choose you, Craig, to be my husband, my friend, my
love,
the father of our children. I will be yours in plenty and in
want, in sickness and in
health, in failure and in triumph. I will cherish you and
respect you, comfort and
encourage you, and together we shall live freed and bound by our
love.”
-
United
Church: “Olivia, I take you to be my wife, to laugh with you
in joy, to grieve
with you in sorrow, to grow with you in love, serving mankind in
peace and hope,
as long as we both shall live.”
Personalizing
Vows
Many couples choose to continue with tradition and repeat the vow
just as others in love
have done for thousands of years. However, a contemporary trend has
been for couples
to write their own vows.
Because the heart of the wedding ceremony is the exchange of vows,
creating your own
can be a wonderful opportunity to share aloud just why you have
chosen your mate.
This declaration of intent is specifically what the ritual is about
anyway. To help you
begin to formulate your ideas about what you will eventually write
as your wedding vow,
use the following tips. They will guide you to the most beautiful,
loving words designed
for your wedding day:
1.
You
don’t have to completely rewrite the traditional vows; you can
simply replace
certain words, phrases, or sentences to fit your thoughts.
2.
Ask
the officiator about ideas he may have, guidance he might offer,
or what’s acceptable in a vow.
3.
The
library offers many books on how to write personalized wedding
vows.
Read as many as you can so that you get a good feeling about how
to write yours.
4.
Collect
phrases that you like.
5.
Attend
weddings and make notes about the words you liked in others’
vows.
6.
Sit
down with your partner and write your vows together. Even if you
don’t
share what you are writing, the collaborative effort will be
bonding.
7.
Begin
early before the crunch of the wedding consumes you and you
no longer have time to write something meaningful.
Saying
traditional vows is nerve-wracking enough, but the thought of
reciting personal vows
can be absolutely terrifying for some people. The fear of forgetting
something causes some
people to choose not to write personal vows at all.
You don’t have to let this fear come between you and what you want
to say to your partner
in a vow. It’s common to have the person performing the ceremony
to read the vow and
have you repeat it after him. Most wedding ceremonies are performed
this way, so you won’t
have to worry about fully memorizing your lines.
Nancy Fagan, M.S., author of “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to
Romance” and “Desirable Men: How to Find Them.” To read more,
visit
www.ExpertDatingAdvice.com.
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